Monday, May 30, 2011

Personality...Be Aware Of...

So I took a personality test the other day, and it was probably one of the best I have ever taken.

But this is the part that really caught my eye:

That doesn't sound anything like me, does it?! lol. okay, maybe it does. =]

These are some aspects of my life that I do struggle with, especially in terms of relationships.

1. Indecisiveness, this is the girl who still usually resorts to Eeny, meeny, miny, moe for picking out a movie. I really can be happy with the results of multiple decisions, so I usually leave the decision-making to someone who is actually looking for a certain outcome. Over the past few years though, I have entered the adult world, and I have found that I CAN make decisions when what I choose ACTUALLY matters to my life. What school to attend, where do live, what job or classes to take, who do date...I am capable and willing to make these decisions, because these are the type of things that matter in my life. Of course, I may need to try to be a little more decisive over the little decisions when asked to be... :)

2. Trusting Nature. Yes, I am a very trusting person. If you tell me something, I will probably believe you, because I feel that people should be honest with me if I am going to be honest with them, and I should be willing to trust those willing to trust me. In dating, this aspect of my personality has often been the cause of a broken heart. The following quote by Greg Behrendt says it best:

"We have become a sloppy bunch of people. We say things we don't mean. We make promises we don't keep. "I'll call you." "Let's get together." We know we won't. On the Human Interaction Stock Exchange, our words have lost almost all their value. And the spiral continues, as we now don't even expect people to keep their word; in fact we might even be embarrassed to point out to the dirty liar that they never did what they said they'd do. So if a guy you're dating doesn't call when he says he's doing to, why should that be such a big deal? Because you should be dating a man who's at least as good as his word."

— Greg Behrendt

Here is another great quote by Elizabeth Gilbert. I believe that many of my family and friends will

agree that this has been me in my relationships. This is something that I am working on, because you cannot change a person. You have to simply love them for who they are:

"I have a history of making decisions very quickly about men. I have always fallen in love fast and without measuring risks. I have a tendency not only to see the best in everyone, but to assume that everyone is emotionally capable of reaching his highest potential. I have fallen in love more times than I care to count with the highest potential of a man, rather than with the man himself, and I have hung on to the relationship for a long time (sometimes far too long) waiting for the man to ascend to his own greatness. Many times in romance I have been a victim of my own optimism."— Elizabeth Gilbert

3. Grudge-holding. This one I do not think fits me as well, but maybe I am wrong. I try to forgive as quickly and sincerely as I can, but sometimes, I do struggle with forgiving others, as many do. I do, however, often feel betrayed when someone has wronged me. It goes back to that trust in people that I have. When you care about someone, you let them in, trust them with your heart. When they break that trust, they have become so close to you, that they have the power to break your heart as well. Matters of the heart is mostly where I feel the most severely wronged, and it is for this reason. I feel mad at myself for being so naive as to blindly allow them the key with access to my heart, with the power to hurt me. Here is an example of those feelings with two poems:

"The Quiet Rain by Ashley Lewis"

Calming the raging water,
trying not to drown,
fighting the inevitable,
will not be dragged down.
Dark skies overhead,
another sleepless night,
when I lay down my head,
eyes, closed-shut tight.

Fighting tears, roaring down,
pouring down my face,
to others they make not one sound,
but leave the slightest trace.
This love that she cannot contain,
overwhelming her pounding heart;
but from revealing it, she must refrain.
She can only do her part.

Silently, she must go on,
hoping for the best,
waiting for the coming dawn,
enduring this trying test.

"Light Through The Dark" by Ashley Lewis

It’s hard to be the rain

to the one who is your sun.

I wanted to work through,

but you said you were done.

Of you, my only expectation

was to let me be there for you.

To help you through the trials,

keep you from feeling blue.

You had been my kindly angel,

my light through mists of dark.

The wish I had for this time,

a journey together to embark.

This path would not be easy;

I’d have it no other way,

than to be one another’s lighthouse,

keeping each other from harm’s way.

But through this unexpected storm,

I keep my light shining on.

Hoping you will soon return,

our love to build upon.

I am still trying to figure out these aspects of my personality and how to continue working to become the person I want to be. This is a process that we all go through in our lives. We can only do our best just like President Gordon B. Hinckley once said:

"Do your best, and be a little better than you are." — Gordon B. Hinckley

1 comment:

Heather said...

Way to be a poet! I think the benefit of not dating someone anymore is that it has really brought your poems to life!