Transitions

I am the little one in pink.

This is a great article on how to help sibling relationships transition to adulthood.  If you have siblings, you should definitely check it out here.  As the youngest child, with a large age gap between me and the next sibling, this article applies to me well.  The last several years, I have been through many major transitions that have changed my life a lot, in many wonderful ways.

The family picture we took before my brother left on his mission to Florida.

My childhood has been a transition of losing siblings...losing them in the sense that they were leaving home and becoming adults.  As my older siblings were leaving the house, I was still quite young, at the ages of 4, 6, and 11.  In many ways, my siblings played the roles of parent, teacher, coach, etc.  You could say that we did not always have a traditional siblings' relationship, but what is a traditional sibling relationship anyway?  They have always been there for me, and to me, that is what being a sibling is about.  You know that you will always be there for your siblings, and they will always be there for you.  You love them unconditionally, and you always have their best interests at heart.  Eventually, my brothers got married, and I got two other sisters, both in the same year.  I was so excited!  But again, in some ways, I was still a child to them, me being only 13 and 14 years old.  But again, we were always there for each other.  They have been amazing friends and amazing sisters.  I feel so honored to be an aunt to their children.  I have been able to watch these kids learn and grown.  They are some of the most special little kids in the world, and they mean the world to me.

Family Picture 2010

When I began going to college and moved away from home, I began the transition to adulthood.  I started taking care of bills, living with roommates, working, and had many new responsibilities.  It was a big transition.  I missed home a lot, especially because of the close relationship that I share with my mom and dad.  I felt so blessed to have brothers and their families who lived close to me.  It meant a lot to have their love, support, and guidance.  One way that I struggled though was that I felt that they did not always treat me as the adult I now was.  I was forming my own opinions and beliefs, my own outlook on life.  But I knew that they only wanted what was best for me.

Our Wedding Day

I met my sweet husband, Oliver, in 2011.  And we were married on June 2, 2012.  He is an amazing husband, and he is such a great example to me.  This, of course, was one of the biggest transitions of my life.  Oliver and I had started our own little family.  And the needs of this little family needed to come first.  Just like my brothers needed to put their little families first.  But, since I was the youngest, I felt pressure to live up to the way things were...instead of beginning this new phase of my life.  I struggled a great deal with this, because I always try to make everyone that I care about happy.  It tore me apart inside that as I tried to work on making my new marriage stronger, my siblings and I seemed to drift apart a bit.  I was trying, but I was also doing this while trying to balance school, work, homework, housework, my relationship with my husband, etc.  But I began to find balance.  I realized that I could not do everything.  As long as I was doing all that I could to work on these relationships in my life, that was all I could do.  That was enough.  This brought on a feeling of peace that was much needed.  I already had enough stress in my life, so to allow myself to relax a bit in this area of my life was a great relief.  I have wonderful family members, but sometimes they did not seem to understand why their younger sister could no longer do it all.  So this struggle of trying not to stress myself out as much was still difficult, because I could feel the sting of every "Why don't you come over as much anymore?" and "Why don't you call as much just to chat?"  I know I am far from perfect, but I am trying, and I am already hard enough on myself.  Thankfully, most of them seemed to realize that I had become an adult, and that I wanted to help them however I could.  But each of us had our own family and their needs needed to come first.

The AhMu Family Picture 2012
One of the first AhMu family pictures I was a part of

Also as a result of our marriage, I got some amazing in-laws, including a new sister and two new brothers.  This time around, I am the older sibling.  My hope is to always be there for them as well to love, guide, and support them as needed.  All three of these new siblings each have unique talents and are wonderful people.  I am so grateful that I am able to call them sister and brothers.

It's a girl!

Then, I found out that Oliver and I were going to be welcoming a little baby girl into the world.  We could not be happier.  We had both received confirmation that we were supposed to have her, and we knew that she would be such a great blessing in our lives...and we hoped to be the same for her.  I had a rough time balancing everything in life while being pregnant, because I constantly felt nauseated and had really bad migraines...which both played off of the other.  I was still working and going to school, along with the responsibilities of being a wife and future mother.  Sometimes again, family had a difficult time understanding why I was not always contacting them or coming over.  I simply did not have a lot of time on my hands, and I was dealing with a lot.  But I made it through with the support of my husband and our families.

The Lewis Family Picture 2013
In 2015, there will be three new faces in our family picture, and I am so excited to see that!

Our little Katie was born on October 14, 2013.  And we were right; she has been a precious blessing in our lives.  She is learning and growing every day.  We appreciate all of the love and support that has been shown by our family for us and her.  Life has still been quite crazy, but this little girl is worth it.  She is a good little baby, and we look forward to helping her become a wonderful young woman someday.  (Thankfully, that is a few years off though, because are thoroughly enjoying the little girl she is right now.)

Katie Dawn

There have been many tears along the way, because of difficulty in understanding what the other siblings were going through.  But I hope that we are all learning to better understand and appreciate one another.  Siblings are a special blessing from our Heavenly Father; friends no matter what in this crazy journey called life.  I want to let each of my siblings (blood and otherwise) know how much I love and appreciate them.  I am grateful for them trying to understand me through my many transitions in life, and I hope to be able to strengthen our relationships in the future.  I am striving to become a better sister.  I want them to know that I will always be there for them, to help them in any way that I can.  I love you all very much!  I feel so special to have four sisters and four brothers so far, and I cannot wait to meet my other siblings someday.  You are the best!

My precious daughter

Maybe someday, this cute little girl will have some siblings of her own!  For now, two new cousins this year will work!